Tourists are about to lose consciousness from anemia.
Frustrated housewives are beating roasts with heavy skillets while tears rolling down their cheeks, screaming, "Why are you so tough? Why? Why?!?!"
One forum poster went so far as to claim he was moving - just because of the crummy steaks!
I know beef. I love beef.
Beef is the reason I couldn't stick with veganism. It wasn't even the bacon that brought me back - it was filet mignon.
I'm here to put your fears aside, and let you know that you can have great beef in Costa Rica.
- It isn't aged. Aging is practically unheard-of in Central America, and you won't find a nice 28 day dry-aged beef in the grocery store.
- Sometimes animals are slaughtered well past their "ideal" slaughter age, and the consumer has no way of knowing because Costa Rica doesn't yet have any grading system.
- Cattle here are enjoying natural grass-fed diets, which is something we pay extra for in North America, but it's not the taste that most of us are used to. We have grown accustomed to the taste of grain-fed meat with higher marbling.
Now we can fix solve the problem!
- Purchase from a good butcher. This might go without saying in North America, but you need to take a look and make sure the meat is actually refrigerated. Seriously.
- Buy the right cut. Get out your dictionary; don't guess. ("Lomito" is tenderloin.)
- Age the beef yourself! Get a Tupperware Large Season Serve Container Lime and sacrifice it. I know it's hard, but it'll be worth it I promise.
- Drill holes into the sides and lid for airflow.
- Age in the bottom of your fridge for at least three days.
- Two hours before you're ready to grill, remove the meat from the fridge and lightly sprinkle both sides with baking soda.
- Don't overcook! Grass fed beef cooks faster - almost 50% faster.
- Let rest. Take it off the grill or out of the oven when it's almost to your desired done-ness. Put it on a cutting board, and DON'T BLEEPIN' TOUCH IT for at least five minutes.
And if all else fails, I hope you had room in your suitcase for a slow cooker!